Fall From Grace - where exactly is this handbasket going? are you sure i won't need a sweater?

where exactly is this handbasket going? are you sure i won't need a sweater?

Jan. 17th, 2009 at 3:48 PM

i spread myself too thin. i try to do too much, take care of too many people who really should be taking care of themselves, and it just doesn't work. there is not enough of me to go around, and so i end up almost never having the time to do things i want to do because i'm so bogged down with things i NEED to do and with things other people need but won't do for themselves. it suffers, it all suffers, and i'm sure that there are plenty of people in my life who are just too nice to say anything about it. i can't be a good daughter AND a good co-worker AND a good sister AND a good friend. i just don't stretch that much, and so i end up doing it ALL badly.

i hate my life sometimes. i get to the point where i wonder why i ever do anything at all since i know it won't be enough for people. if i can't give them what they want, why do i even bother trying? no one actually cares that you did your best. no one cares that you tried. that's just something we tell toddlers so they won't feel bad that their life is about to turn into a string of unending failures.

i just need to figure out a way to clone myself so everyone can get what they want.

fuck.

Comments

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tamayaki wrote:

Jan. 18th, 2009 12:20 am (UTC)

Take one step at a time and try not to stress yourself over 50 million things at the same time! You are gonna wear yourself out if you do. D:

I still want to keep one of you to myself though because you are taht awesome~! ♥ ~~I wish I could quit you! x3~~

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caerfree wrote:

Jan. 18th, 2009 12:48 am (UTC)

Don't take this as unsympathetic because I've been there before, but you know what I learned? Not your freakin' job to be everyone's go-to girl and caretaker. Not your job to solve everyone's problems. You need to learn to say "no" and unfortunately that doesn't feel good at first... especially since people have expectations of you now. "You've never said 'no' before." they'll whine, but you know what? You have to basically back off and just say "no" to everything for about 2 months unless it's some kind of life and death circumstance.

I was that way and still am to some extent, but I just couldn't do it anymore. It drains you. You need to be a little selfish. When you're kind, you can get pulled into that so easily because you want to help and you want to be there for people. But they will take advantage and they probably don't even know how taxing it is on your psyche. They're just accustomed to being able to ask you.

I really do mean say "no" to everything for a while because if you just do it here and there, you'll probably find yourself here again too soon. Also, make a list and look for the 20/80s in everything. That might help. Once you start telling everyone to take a hike, make a list of what is really a priority for you. Make some rules on how much time you can spend on any given person and try not to break that limit unless there's just something too important.

You may want to read something like "The Four Hour Work Week" because even though it's a hokey self help book, it's fun to read and it will help you prioritize a bit.

http://www.entrepreneurs-journey.com/397/80-20-rule-pareto-principle/

Good luck. You're a very nice person. You're more likely to stay that way for everyone if you take care of yourself for a while.

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